bitter magnet

some stuff i collected when i was a freshman @ Cal. That was almost 10 years ago....geez, am I really that old? :)

---The Apple/Mac-Hater’s Manual------
collected by: anita villanueva , 10/16/96
"Bother!" said Pooh, as Piglet had just bought a Macintosh...
"Dammit, Jim, it's a Macintosh, not a computer!"
"Tube-powered? Must be a Macintosh."
"Welcome to Hell; here's your new Macintosh."
"Worthwhile Macintoshes, on the next In Search Of..."
#<- Macintosh _ <- Macintosh when I'M done with it.
(A)bort (R)etry (B)uy a Macintosh?
* <- Tribble ~%#{..~$ <- Tribbles after using a Macintosh!
...And the only thing the Borg left was this Macintosh.
A Macintosh : Something that SHOULD be eaten!
A Macintosh a day keeps Apple Happy and Rich!
A Macintosh is a very expensive Etch-a-Sketch ...
A Macintosh is an Etch-a-Sketch that you don't have to shake.
A Macintosh is not truly portable until it is airborne.
A Macintosh is to a computer as an Edsel is to an automobile.
A PC a day, keeps the Apple away!
ADAM and EVE VIRUS: takes several bytes out of your Apple!
And all the Borg left was this Apple III.
Apple (c) 6024 B.C., Adam & Eve
Apple computer...It's so good it's Red Delicious !
Apple Festival, Murphysboro's Very Own, Sept. 12-15th
Apple I (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton <= OUCH!
Apple I...The Grandmother of all boards.
Apple: A PC so simple your parents can use it.
Apple-bashing: A hobby *and* a way of life.
AppleCyders...Apple users on the Net.
Apples and viruses ? I thought APPLES got WORMS !
Apple's Newton competes with the pencil and paper.
Applesauce...what your brain turns into after using a Macintosh.
Applexy: Feeling when your computer doesn't deliver the info you need.
BANANA: Better than an Apple, at least you can eat it.
Beat me, whip me, make me use a Macintosh . . .
Beauty And The Beast...IBM And Macintosh
C:\ONGRTSWI.N95 (Apple Inc.)
Confucius say..."User who have Apple dump core."
Confucius say..."User with Macintosh has all Apples in one basket."
CrabApple...A balky Macintosh computer.
Crapple...an Apple computer that craps out.
CyderSpace...the Net, for Apple users.
Def: Macintosh: Computing as designed by Rube Goldberg.
DOS Macintosh version 1...NO.DOS
DOS Macintosh version 2...DOS.NOT
DOS Macintosh version 3...DEL*.DOS.
DOS Macintosh version 4...DOS.INTOSH
Dutch Apple...an Apple computer sold in Holland.
Eve...the first Apple user.
Expertise at Macintosh is not expertise at all.
Friends don't let friends use Apples.
Friends don't let friends use Macintoshes!
Granny Smith...the Mother of all Apple computers.
Green Apple Quick Step...an Apple computer 'core dump'.
High-end Macintosh = a Yugo with a supercharger and Nitrous oxide.
I am Macintosh of Borg, Compatibility is Futile!
I am Macintosh of Borg. It takes a while to assimilate.
I have PROOF aliens are among us - LOOK AT THE MACINTOSH!
I tried Macintosh once, but I didn't inhale.
I want Lantastic on my Apple ][+ NOW!
If I'm "non-PC" does that mean I like the Macintosh?
If there's no Silicon Hell, where do all the Macintoshes go?
MAC error message: Like, hey dude, something went wrong.
MAC error message: Init System Failed!? Oh, like wow... Bummer, dude.
MAC: It does less, It costs more, It's that simple.
MAC: Money Always Counts.
MacAttack...The Apple ad blitz against Windows'98.
Mac-In-A-Sac: Apple Powerbook Computer
Macintosh - The Barney of computers.
Macintosh - when you need your software spoon-fed to you.
Macintosh error message: Like, dude, something went wrong or something.
Macintosh error message: "Weird disk error"
Macintosh font imitation #127: SaN fRaNcIsCo
Macintosh is NOT a virus...Viruses *DO* something!
Macintosh Power PC...Now on sale at Toys-R-Us and 7-11 stores everywhere.
Macintosh. Makers of fine rainwear for over 60 years.
MacIntosh... Your nightmares come true!
Macintosh...just another rotten Apple.
MacIntosh: Computer with training wheels you can't remove.
MACINTOSH: Macs Are Computers? I Never Thought Of Such Hell!
MACINTOSH: The only computer for which a keyboard is optional.
MACINTOSH: [icon of shit] Shit Happened ID = 02
MACINTOSH: Just like Nintendo but fewer games available.
MACINTOSH: Just like Nintendo but not as much fun.
MACINTOSH: Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The Operating System Hangs.
Macintosh? No thanks, I already have a trash can.
Macintosh=Hackintrash
MAC's Place BBS home of the C & C++ Programmer
Must be an Apple user, he grunts a lot and points...
My other footstool is a Macintosh.
Optimum acceleration for a Macintosh: 9.8 m/s ^2
Owning a MacIntosh is its own punishment!
Oxymoron #1: Macintosh Compatible
Oxymoron #2: Macintosh Computer
Oxymoron #3: Apple Tech Support.
Pippin...Another rotten Apple, but this time there's no core to dump.
Redundancy (n.) : "Macintosh for Dummies"
Rotten Apples do not grow on trees. they are only sold in computer stores.
Silicon Valley...Home of the rotten Apple orchard.
SnApple...computer juice.
Summer School - Macintosh Computer
Thank God for Jay Miner. Otherwise I'd be stuck with a Macintosh.
The Apple and the Newton: 9.81 m/sec.
The Apple Dumpling Gang...Jobs and Wozniak.
The last Apple that had any power was given to Adam by Eve.
The Macintosh! Arggh...
The power of the Macintosh - same day service, guaranteed.
Useless accessory: Macintosh keyboard.
Ways to accelerate a Macintosh #12: fire it from a cannon.
When comparing Apples to Apples you still get a Mac.
Who really took a bite out of the Apple logo?
William Tell...The first person to give Apple the shaft.
Windows '95: It kills the Big Apple on your PC.

# posted by anita @ 12:46 AM