Wednesday, July 31, 2002
the Villanueva FAQ
Alright, yet ANOTHER day when I get to go off on the woes of having a weird last name. J Not that it’s incredibly long (only ten letters, folks) or difficult to pronounce (it’s just Spanish, you can sound it out!!), but I always seem to come across every single punk in the U.S. who is completely baffled when they try to spell it or even just pronounce it. Today, I got a new one on my invoice from a product service center: “BILLANUAZA.” Hah! Well, what can I say, gotta give them points for creativity. I mean, so far, the most common misspellings have been boring: Villaneuva, Vilanueva, Villanuera, Villanova, Biyanueba.
Anyway, I get SO many questions and confused looks concerning my last name that I have decided to make an FAQ. Yup, everything you wanted to know about my last name but were afraid to ask...
**The VILLANUEVA Last Name FAQ**
Q: What kind of name is it? Does it mean anything?
A: It’s Spanish. And it means “new villa,” so I guess that could be sort of like “new huge-house-in-the-country.”
Q: How rare is that name?
A: “Villanueva” is a fairly common last name in Latin America. Occasionally I meet Hispanics in the U.S. who have the same last name. However, by far the majority of the people I’ve met with the last name “Villanueva” are from the Philippines. I think a conquistador named Villanueva must have made his way over there and had a zillion kids or something.
Q: What is the proper pronunciation?
A: Okay, the REAL Spanish pronunciation is bee-yah-NWE-bah. But I never pronounce it like that since it has the tendency to make American people’s heads spin. So I pronounce it the English way, vil-ah-NWE-vah. I also pronounce my first name the English way as well (if I don’t, people ask me to spell that too).
Q: Did you pass kindergarten, with having to write your name and all?
A: Yes. At the age of five, I could spell and write my last name. It was my kindergarten teacher who could not spell or say it, and thus I was always referred to by all as simply “Anita V,” and this is what was always printed on my place card and cubby (whilst all the other kids got their entire names printed out).
Q: What are the weirdest misspellings/mispronunciations you’ve come across?
A: Well I have to admit the one on the invoice today was quite original. But by far, the most common “weird” one is people calling me “Anita Venezuela.” I am not kidding! Checks for me have been written to “Anita Velasquez.” (For some reason people have a strange urge to cram a “Z” in my name). My first grade teacher called me “Anita Villavenue” for the entire year, since at the time my parents were too polite to correct her. Also, on my 6th grade citizenship award, my name is written as “Anita Villareal.”
Q: Would you change your last name if you could?
A: Of course, and my dad seriously considered doing this when we first came to the U.S. (especially since we lived in Ohio, where nobody speaks Spanish). My mom’s maiden name has only four letters and is easier for everyone to say and spell, so we were going to use that. But the paperwork involved in changing all of our names was way too much, so he decided against it. Once we moved to California the situation became a bit easier, but was still annoying nonetheless. My entire name rarely fit in those bubbles for the SATs and GREs. And now that I’m back east it’s gotten to be an issue once again, since Spanish is an alien language here (lol). However all the red tape involved in a name change is indeed too overwhelming, I’d have to go to court and get my name changed on my driver’s license, ID, all my diplomas, etc. My last shot is that I’ll hopefully end up marrying someone with a short and simple last name (5 letters or less, and something Americans can easily pronounce). Hopefully something like Smith, Jones, or maybe something that starts with “A”, so I can be first for once, instead of being “…and last, but not least, Anita Vill@#!$%&$... !” <\vent> J
Q: Are there any benefits of having a weird last name?
A: A nice perk is being able to screen your calls from annoying telemarketers and survey-takers. “Is Mister Villa—ack—I’m sorry..is Mister Villa-noo-va home?” or “Hi, I would like to speak with Mister Villa…uh, I can’t even say it..listen, kid, is your dad home?“ Where I say “No, there’s no Mr. Villa-NOO-va here. My dad is here, though, and although he’s a millionaire and does happen to be looking to get his daughter her own set of credit cards, he refuses to answer to any daft prick who can’t even pronounce his name.” Click.
But by far the best benefit of having a weird last name is that it makes for a good conversation starter, as there are always endless silly things to talk about. And there are lame lists like these to make, which is good for procrastination on a Wednesday night, when the DBW prevents any work from being done (currently 84 F at the moment..ack)
Anyway, I get SO many questions and confused looks concerning my last name that I have decided to make an FAQ. Yup, everything you wanted to know about my last name but were afraid to ask...
**The VILLANUEVA Last Name FAQ**
Q: What kind of name is it? Does it mean anything?
A: It’s Spanish. And it means “new villa,” so I guess that could be sort of like “new huge-house-in-the-country.”
Q: How rare is that name?
A: “Villanueva” is a fairly common last name in Latin America. Occasionally I meet Hispanics in the U.S. who have the same last name. However, by far the majority of the people I’ve met with the last name “Villanueva” are from the Philippines. I think a conquistador named Villanueva must have made his way over there and had a zillion kids or something.
Q: What is the proper pronunciation?
A: Okay, the REAL Spanish pronunciation is bee-yah-NWE-bah. But I never pronounce it like that since it has the tendency to make American people’s heads spin. So I pronounce it the English way, vil-ah-NWE-vah. I also pronounce my first name the English way as well (if I don’t, people ask me to spell that too).
Q: Did you pass kindergarten, with having to write your name and all?
A: Yes. At the age of five, I could spell and write my last name. It was my kindergarten teacher who could not spell or say it, and thus I was always referred to by all as simply “Anita V,” and this is what was always printed on my place card and cubby (whilst all the other kids got their entire names printed out).
Q: What are the weirdest misspellings/mispronunciations you’ve come across?
A: Well I have to admit the one on the invoice today was quite original. But by far, the most common “weird” one is people calling me “Anita Venezuela.” I am not kidding! Checks for me have been written to “Anita Velasquez.” (For some reason people have a strange urge to cram a “Z” in my name). My first grade teacher called me “Anita Villavenue” for the entire year, since at the time my parents were too polite to correct her. Also, on my 6th grade citizenship award, my name is written as “Anita Villareal.”
Q: Would you change your last name if you could?
A: Of course, and my dad seriously considered doing this when we first came to the U.S. (especially since we lived in Ohio, where nobody speaks Spanish). My mom’s maiden name has only four letters and is easier for everyone to say and spell, so we were going to use that. But the paperwork involved in changing all of our names was way too much, so he decided against it. Once we moved to California the situation became a bit easier, but was still annoying nonetheless. My entire name rarely fit in those bubbles for the SATs and GREs. And now that I’m back east it’s gotten to be an issue once again, since Spanish is an alien language here (lol). However all the red tape involved in a name change is indeed too overwhelming, I’d have to go to court and get my name changed on my driver’s license, ID, all my diplomas, etc. My last shot is that I’ll hopefully end up marrying someone with a short and simple last name (5 letters or less, and something Americans can easily pronounce). Hopefully something like Smith, Jones, or maybe something that starts with “A”, so I can be first for once, instead of being
Q: Are there any benefits of having a weird last name?
A: A nice perk is being able to screen your calls from annoying telemarketers and survey-takers. “Is Mister Villa—ack—I’m sorry..is Mister Villa-noo-va home?” or “Hi, I would like to speak with Mister Villa…uh, I can’t even say it..listen, kid, is your dad home?“ Where I say “No, there’s no Mr. Villa-NOO-va here. My dad is here, though, and although he’s a millionaire and does happen to be looking to get his daughter her own set of credit cards, he refuses to answer to any daft prick who can’t even pronounce his name.” Click.
But by far the best benefit of having a weird last name is that it makes for a good conversation starter, as there are always endless silly things to talk about. And there are lame lists like these to make, which is good for procrastination on a Wednesday night, when the DBW prevents any work from being done (currently 84 F at the moment..ack)
Tuesday, July 30, 2002
what will they think of next?
Okay this is a lame entry. I just thought I should mention that Pepsi Blue tastes VILE. I poured myself a small cup (6 oz) and had to force myself to down it all. FYI, it doesn’t taste at all like berries (or Pepsi, for that matter). In fact, it tastes like dishwashing detergent, which surprisingly, seemed vaguely familiar. Well it took me a while to sort it out, but my theory is now this: PepsiCo simply took all the unsold Crystal Pepsi (remember that crap?) from 10 years ago, added some blue dye, and repackaged it with a new name. I swear! Now what’s REALLY sad is that I think Diet Coke (vile drink, absolute lowest of all beverages on the “drink”-chain) actually tastes better than this stuff! Eek.
Monday, July 29, 2002
Made the mistake of watching “Fear Factor” while eating dinner tonight. Four hours later, I still feel nauseous. Well now I am quite sure that even if someone offered me fifty thousand dollars, I WOULD NOT eat live ants, fermented squid guts, habanero peppers, or hundred-year-old eggs (blech!!). Dude, just watching the four ppls on the show eat (and gag) that stuff honestly made me want to retch. Let’s just say I couldn’t eat much after that. Upside: well now I know that if I ever need/want to lose weight (in 10 years maybe?) I know I can just watch one of these sick shows and I probably won’t eat for a week. Like right now, I don’t even want to think about eating, ever… ugh!
