bitter magnet

some stuff i collected when i was a freshman @ Cal. That was almost 10 years ago....geez, am I really that old? :)

---The Apple/Mac-Hater’s Manual------
collected by: anita villanueva , 10/16/96
"Bother!" said Pooh, as Piglet had just bought a Macintosh...
"Dammit, Jim, it's a Macintosh, not a computer!"
"Tube-powered? Must be a Macintosh."
"Welcome to Hell; here's your new Macintosh."
"Worthwhile Macintoshes, on the next In Search Of..."
#<- Macintosh _ <- Macintosh when I'M done with it.
(A)bort (R)etry (B)uy a Macintosh?
* <- Tribble ~%#{..~$ <- Tribbles after using a Macintosh!
...And the only thing the Borg left was this Macintosh.
A Macintosh : Something that SHOULD be eaten!
A Macintosh a day keeps Apple Happy and Rich!
A Macintosh is a very expensive Etch-a-Sketch ...
A Macintosh is an Etch-a-Sketch that you don't have to shake.
A Macintosh is not truly portable until it is airborne.
A Macintosh is to a computer as an Edsel is to an automobile.
A PC a day, keeps the Apple away!
ADAM and EVE VIRUS: takes several bytes out of your Apple!
And all the Borg left was this Apple III.
Apple (c) 6024 B.C., Adam & Eve
Apple computer...It's so good it's Red Delicious !
Apple Festival, Murphysboro's Very Own, Sept. 12-15th
Apple I (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton <= OUCH!
Apple I...The Grandmother of all boards.
Apple: A PC so simple your parents can use it.
Apple-bashing: A hobby *and* a way of life.
AppleCyders...Apple users on the Net.
Apples and viruses ? I thought APPLES got WORMS !
Apple's Newton competes with the pencil and paper.
Applesauce...what your brain turns into after using a Macintosh.
Applexy: Feeling when your computer doesn't deliver the info you need.
BANANA: Better than an Apple, at least you can eat it.
Beat me, whip me, make me use a Macintosh . . .
Beauty And The Beast...IBM And Macintosh
C:\ONGRTSWI.N95 (Apple Inc.)
Confucius say..."User who have Apple dump core."
Confucius say..."User with Macintosh has all Apples in one basket."
CrabApple...A balky Macintosh computer.
Crapple...an Apple computer that craps out.
CyderSpace...the Net, for Apple users.
Def: Macintosh: Computing as designed by Rube Goldberg.
DOS Macintosh version 1...NO.DOS
DOS Macintosh version 2...DOS.NOT
DOS Macintosh version 3...DEL*.DOS.
DOS Macintosh version 4...DOS.INTOSH
Dutch Apple...an Apple computer sold in Holland.
Eve...the first Apple user.
Expertise at Macintosh is not expertise at all.
Friends don't let friends use Apples.
Friends don't let friends use Macintoshes!
Granny Smith...the Mother of all Apple computers.
Green Apple Quick Step...an Apple computer 'core dump'.
High-end Macintosh = a Yugo with a supercharger and Nitrous oxide.
I am Macintosh of Borg, Compatibility is Futile!
I am Macintosh of Borg. It takes a while to assimilate.
I have PROOF aliens are among us - LOOK AT THE MACINTOSH!
I tried Macintosh once, but I didn't inhale.
I want Lantastic on my Apple ][+ NOW!
If I'm "non-PC" does that mean I like the Macintosh?
If there's no Silicon Hell, where do all the Macintoshes go?
MAC error message: Like, hey dude, something went wrong.
MAC error message: Init System Failed!? Oh, like wow... Bummer, dude.
MAC: It does less, It costs more, It's that simple.
MAC: Money Always Counts.
MacAttack...The Apple ad blitz against Windows'98.
Mac-In-A-Sac: Apple Powerbook Computer
Macintosh - The Barney of computers.
Macintosh - when you need your software spoon-fed to you.
Macintosh error message: Like, dude, something went wrong or something.
Macintosh error message: "Weird disk error"
Macintosh font imitation #127: SaN fRaNcIsCo
Macintosh is NOT a virus...Viruses *DO* something!
Macintosh Power PC...Now on sale at Toys-R-Us and 7-11 stores everywhere.
Macintosh. Makers of fine rainwear for over 60 years.
MacIntosh... Your nightmares come true!
Macintosh...just another rotten Apple.
MacIntosh: Computer with training wheels you can't remove.
MACINTOSH: Macs Are Computers? I Never Thought Of Such Hell!
MACINTOSH: The only computer for which a keyboard is optional.
MACINTOSH: [icon of shit] Shit Happened ID = 02
MACINTOSH: Just like Nintendo but fewer games available.
MACINTOSH: Just like Nintendo but not as much fun.
MACINTOSH: Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The Operating System Hangs.
Macintosh? No thanks, I already have a trash can.
Macintosh=Hackintrash
MAC's Place BBS home of the C & C++ Programmer
Must be an Apple user, he grunts a lot and points...
My other footstool is a Macintosh.
Optimum acceleration for a Macintosh: 9.8 m/s ^2
Owning a MacIntosh is its own punishment!
Oxymoron #1: Macintosh Compatible
Oxymoron #2: Macintosh Computer
Oxymoron #3: Apple Tech Support.
Pippin...Another rotten Apple, but this time there's no core to dump.
Redundancy (n.) : "Macintosh for Dummies"
Rotten Apples do not grow on trees. they are only sold in computer stores.
Silicon Valley...Home of the rotten Apple orchard.
SnApple...computer juice.
Summer School - Macintosh Computer
Thank God for Jay Miner. Otherwise I'd be stuck with a Macintosh.
The Apple and the Newton: 9.81 m/sec.
The Apple Dumpling Gang...Jobs and Wozniak.
The last Apple that had any power was given to Adam by Eve.
The Macintosh! Arggh...
The power of the Macintosh - same day service, guaranteed.
Useless accessory: Macintosh keyboard.
Ways to accelerate a Macintosh #12: fire it from a cannon.
When comparing Apples to Apples you still get a Mac.
Who really took a bite out of the Apple logo?
William Tell...The first person to give Apple the shaft.
Windows '95: It kills the Big Apple on your PC.

# posted by anita @ 12:46 AM

.

The Blind Men and the Elephant
John Godfrey Saxe

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall."

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, "Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wonderous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
"Tis clear enough, the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear
Said: "even the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most:
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

TheSixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right
and all were in the wrong!

So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what the other mean,
And prate about an elephant
Not one of them has seen.

at lunch today, for some reason we were on the topic of MTL summer picnics, and Andy Fan mentioned that a few years back (in 2002 and 2003) the summer picnic was at Hopkinton State Park. I was so suprised--I went to those picnics, but never took note that or remembered that they were in Hopkinton. I mean, I was *just there* this weekend, and i *could have sworn* I had never been anywhere near there before (aside from the 20-miler 2 weeks ago). Funny how there are things in your past that you don't even notice! Like, little did I know that three years later I would be returning to that very spot, to begin a 26.2 mile run, along with 20,000 other people. :)

Also, today in Japanese class, the teacher was giving us Japanese sentences that we had to translate in English. The very last sentence she gave (before class was over) was "Natto ga kimoti ga warui kara, taberaremasen." Most people didn't know what natto was, so but I sure did....so i answered "Natto (a dish made from fermented soybeans) is unpleasant, so I can't eat it." :) What a coincidence...just a few days ago i just tried natto at Blue Fin (on accident, sort of since i didn't really know what it was), and I must say it is pretty nasty. :) Let's just say i'll never order natto ever again. :)

i just ran the Harvard-JFK loop (plus a little bit more around MIT), to equal 6.0 miles. My time was 1:04, which is AMAZINGLY good for me (10:30 pace). I think that this was because about 20 minutes before heading out to run, i ended up eating one of those brownie wedges (the thing musta been about a thousand calories, i swear...it tasted like a stick of butter + sugar & chocolate...sore kara, sugoku oishikatta :D). I wasn't planning to eat before running, but then via email i find out that there are free brownies in teh 2nd floor lounge, and then of course i couldn't resist. hmm, i think i should try that for the boston marathon...maybe eat a ton of jellybeans like 20 min before the start. jellybeans are good since they don't really require any digestion.

btw-another reason why the run today was AMAZING was that it was 61 degrees outside!! I had to run in shorts and tank top, the first in probably 6 months or so. woo-hoo!! :)

well, my japanese lesson quiz didn't go so well today...i didn't have enough time to finish. plus, i completely forgot to do the assigned reading beforehand. komatta naa! oh well.

geez, i can't believe the boston marathon is only 2 weeks away. that's so scary! :) i can't believe i'm going to be running it!

oh, and i'm *so* incredibly sore now from pilates class (wellbridge) yesterday... basically my abs hurt everytime i move. i wasn't sore this morning...i guess it took about 24 hours to kick in. anyway, i guess that's a good sign though (that muscles are actually building up, and it wasn't for nothing). hmmmm...maybe if i start doing pilates 3x a week again, i can eventually shrink my waist down to 24" ? Hah, yeah right. :) I think in order for that to happen i'd have to get a few ribs removed...and maybe my spleen and liver too. :) I mean, when i was 20 lbs lighter (115 lb, about 3 years ago), i still had *nowhere near* a 24" waist, so i've long decided to give up on that. :) it's crazy though, cuz TV & magazines seem to have women believe that unless you have a body like Kate Moss's (5'7", 105 lbs, meas. 33-23-35), then there is something wrong with you and thus you need to diet & exercise like a fiend to make up for it (it's basically on the cover of every women's magazine, from Woman's World to SELF). Sheesh!

anyway, i guess the above semi-rant in the 2nd half of the last paragraph was partially arisen by some of my thoughts on the Terri Schiavo case, and my surprise at how the media paid almost no attention to that fact that the entire reason behind her being a vegetative state in the first place was because she had suffered from an eating disorder (at the age of 26, she had a heart attack due to an electrolyte imbalance caused by her bulimia..this is what led to her permanent brain damage). I found it quite annoying that a lot of politicians, etc focused so much on the issue of whether or not someone has the right to die, whether or not it's "morally correct" or whatever...yet no one seemed to give a rat's ass about trying to prevent this situation (a young woman slowly killing herself) from happening to anyone else. I recently found a site that discusses this issue, and explains my view point very well...below is an excerpt:

The whole bunch of so-called pro-lifers seem only concerned with somehow continuing to force-feed this unfortunate woman without any pretense at discussing our sick culture that causes women to hate their own flesh. With all these Senate bills and last-minute interventions by the Governor, why not fund an eating disorder awareness fund or two? Even just for show, why not use this tragedy to try to warn the who-knows-how-many young women risking a similar end? Why not use this to examine how culture fosters such severe self-hatred in women?

That might actually save lives, you know...

But, instead, we have a public fight whether to force-feed or starve Terri Schiavo, carried out, it seems, mostly by people who care neither about her or about the myriads of young women who could become her any moment. A fight that would not have had to happen if we had just let her eat.

No, i'm not just quoting the movie "Office Space," these are actually my thoughts from about 5 minutes ago, after trying (unsuccessfully) to print out a practice quiz on my office printer. I got that error, "PC load letter" which makes no sense since there's plenty of paper in there. Arg! My exam's less than an hour, so i probably shouldn't be blogging now, but i just had to vent my frustration somehow. :)

Anyway, I really need to see "Office Space" again, it is such a great movie. Strangely enough, it uplifts my mood everytime i see it. I guess i really like being able to take everyday frustrations and laugh at them. Because, what else can you do? :)